An argument for love…

I play squash. I obsess about it. I train. I play. I wake up mornings and play till its time to go to work. I spend money on court fees, racquets and gear. Money which should rightfully be spent on more productive things or earn a sensible interest in a bank account. I have no idea why I do this. I am not particularly good at it. I am not quick enough on my feet,my head isn’t still and my reflexes are slow.

And I think its okay.

I do it cos I enjoy it. I enjoy learning about it. On days I can’t find a partner, I go and knock the ball on the wall. On good days, the ball will fly sweetly off my racquet armed with a pace and a direction I don’t remember giving it. I like working at it and getting better, bit by bit. It’s a better other people don’t see. I do and that’s enough. It’s not a better nearly enough but the fact that I it is better wakes me up on cold mornings.

Some day I’ll play with the gift so many people seem to have – moving with languid ease and have the ball sing off my racquet. That day is seven years away, give or take a day.

And that’s okay.

A man and his vegetables

I don't know about you, sir, but I really think vegetables should know their place in life. 

(if you are south indian or a vegetarian or a woman or varying combinations of those, I think you will avoid yourself a lot of angst by skipping to other sections of this wonderful site.) 

I don't know what it is about vegetables of late, but really it seems they are fashionably in focus - a manner that is unbecoming and not dissimilar to the whole media obsession with the role of the minor spinning allrounder in the Indian cricket team. 

It is ridiculous - no matter what food article or culinary blog you read  -you cannot but avoid long flowery (excuse me) references - its either wonderfully leafy this or fibre-rich, green that or lovely juicy tomatoes or flavorful gherkins ..good grief.   in 

Try it - go see some food content - this salmon recipe from the Aussie Masterchef   - a line in here goes  - Potatoes and cucumber salad make delicious accompaniments to the honey mustard salmon"  - Eh? Potatoes?) or Eatopia's headline for chicken soup  - "Chicken Shorba is a light, clear, flavorful broth, infused with Indian spices and herbs." infused with spices and herbs - where's the damn meat eh? 

My lovely wife insists on making Thai curry with massive chunks of tasteless capsicum - ruining a perfectly good meaty curry- my poor mouth gets shocked every time it expects a nice tangy fish bite or a biteful of lamb dripping fats and flavours and finds the give of a bland chunk of capsicum in its stead. Its like watching the pipsqueak Rahane come out to bad at 45/2 instead of the masterful Tendulkar. 

If you ask me -and no one does, sadly - the ideal place for these fellows is to not jostle with the kingly meats for buds and attention, and instead bring up the rear of the dish - make up a nice, unintrusive base, add some crunch here and there to bring out the contrast to the rich, luscious flavor of the meat. Any thing more - I still shudder at that capsicous memory - imagine a horrific potato that dwarfing a nifty cut of lamb in a bengali jhol - that leaves enough scars to keep three shrinks in the gravy (excuse me) for life. 

Now, don't get me wrong - veggies are good, necessary even - those are dues you must pay if you want to revel in the sensous pleasures of the flesh - but really that's about it. Any meal north of eleven am has got to be an organized place, with the rank and file in, you know, rank and file! So make sure you run a tight galley when you are dealing with these infernal fellow - cut them down to size even, and let's have some pomp and ceremony in that delightful chicken curry you are making for your friends or that lovely lamb Rindang you plan to unleash on your in-laws. 

SD

“China Jaayega?”

the two words that started my love affair with SD -  a raucous, good-looking Bengaali  - and one of the most insightful men I ever met. These words are mostly unremarkable in today’s world of globe trotting companies and individuals, but miraculous said as they were, to a callow 22 year old lab scientist over the day's second goldflake and cup of tea in an dusty industrial suburb of Bangalore in early 1999…. The proposition representing a small company’s international ambition with a budget in the 100s of dollars rather than the buffered millions we speak of today….

Whether it was raw potential or budget constraints .. we never ended up discussing… SD always made me believe it was the former. He introduced me as a prized talent in meetings with our competitors and partners… companies ten times bigger than we were, sent me on hundreds of days on travel costing scarce dollars in the bylanes of Asia ...dollars that needed him to justify every penny of that expense (in a company that would have preferred its employees work for free). Always with a smile and boundless faith ….. with results and jobs uncertain….I heard later that he went to the dispatch dock and choked up when he saw a 16 MT container being loaded with my first sale to a customer in Guangzhou…. the fact it meant so much to him...that we were managing to survive.. told me that his faith could not have come without some fear. 

SD encourages dissent - especially passionate dissent. He looks at you with an animated expression when you speak...its the passion that's making him curious... in moments like this it seems he is wanting to understand your very soul.... he's reading a thousand things about you... testing different theories about you in his head.... fitting them in with people he's met before... he's tireless in his curiosity... and expressive in his amazement and surprise at your thinking. It makes you reach deeper ...think harder and express more....stringing little thoughts together....into a bigger and bigger thought.... incredibly indian in its to and froing..with its animated 'absolutely's' and "of totally'' ....its an energy filled frenzy even about arcane concepts like business and "dhanda" .... ending in an expression filled orgasm of insight and conclusion. 

SD learned his life lessons I think as a teenager…. Selling movie tickets in black to buy booze and smokes….well down a path no self respecting middle class Indian boy ought to go….. but ended up developing a rare love of humanity in all its forms. I do mean all its forms. This father of two lovely boys and husband to an incredibly beautiful wife he kidnapped when he was 23, shares his joie raucously. He throws his heart, home and family open to all….. His wife V plied us with home cooked food and intensely intellectual conversation… both of them dissecting your quaint personality with insight and finesse and laughter…. open with their attitude…. All the while deprecating of any praise coming their way…secure in their world and knowledge of themselves.  Even today as I write this, I feel almost treacherous… talking about a relationship that we have referred to in joyous mostly unsentimental terms.

I didn’t hear a word of criticism in the four magical years I spent with SD…. Not even when he made write a business email to a customer for an entire day, dissecting every word.... nudging me from self involved flowery to the useful…gently… ever so gently. I have seen SD transform people like this …. people drained of verve by a harsh life …from cynical jaded view to one of enthusiasm and possibility. 

I have no idea what lies behind this…he still remains one of the most enigmatic people I’ll ever know…. Whether it was his unconventional teenage years in  Shillong….or ten years in Mumbai of the 80's in what I am sure must have been a culture shock for 19 year old from the east…but this I do know – He does it with love of people…one from incredible faith and amazement at what they can do… its clear eyed and objective yet unconditional… I think its that faith from people like SD which makes people assess themselves objectively…harshly even…creating a hunger that pushes you to do better for yourself. SD and V make me question a thousand times in the ten years since..  … how much can you love humanity? with all its quirks and failings .... can you truly love it? 

If you want to change lives, start... start with one.