Always a woman to me..

It’s a lazy diwali afternoon and I think I’m having an affair. No...not one of those iffy "is-there-or- isn’t-there" kinda nothing attractions. There definitely is...and an intensely physical one at that. I have no idea how it started to get to this. Its like most other things of this sort, just a queerish turn of events and no one’s really to blame. Of course not everyone is going to see it that way.

But let me start from the beginning..

I was introduced to her, ironically enough, through my dad. And like most things dad has introduced me to (The godfather at age 9, beer, atheism, cars and stories of his wild days), this one turned out to have out far-reaching consequences but damned if I realized it at the time.

She seemed completely awkward to me at first…on the verge of "uncool". Unfashionably voluptuous (and how!), she was loudmouthed and opinionated, but (and I say this from hindsight) pretty smooth when she wanted to be. She certainly wasn’t trying to be at her smooth best when I met her, and in a weird sort of way, i think that’s what did it for me in the first place.

In god’s well-intentioned but screwed up way of working, she moved into my city, and on the ground floor of my Bangalore apartment within 2 weeks of that. .. She'd had it tough, i guessed, and she looked completely so out of place that I had to rescue her. She condescended to yield to my tentative offer of helping her out. I introduced her enthusiastically to my friends, my colleagues, with unsurprisingly little success. She just wasn't the bubbly sophisticate they were used to. well..one thing led to another, and we started spending a lot of time together. She seemed to have some work in places close to my office, and we started commuting together – you know how it is –you slip into a routine like that where you wake up and go to work along with someone, and soon you find yourself waking up and going to work because of her.

Things started going kinda outta control after that, and I started dreaming about her, started buying her new stuff so she could look good, feel better about herself and fit into my life. I guess things were always simmering between us and we entered the zone without really meaning to. It really hit me today how far we’d gone when I realized I didn’t care who knew about us…today …2 pm on an overcast diwali afternoon in the basement parking lot of our apartment..our first meeting in sometime due to my recently hectic schedule and my home trip (which i cut short to get back to her) .. slipping my hand into hers and drawing her close ...it seemed like what we were meant for..she responded immediately…..unusual for her….but she seemed like she was waiting for me..her body warm, and her curves waiting to draw me into her. We held each other like that ..the only sounds being her gentle gasps, and my own head rushing so loud that I couldn’t..didnt want to hear anything else..I held her close…and I wanted to hear her breathe all day long…

Its been an hour since I got back…am lying back on my bed…my body still aching pleasantly…still throbbing from our intense time together..the smell of her on my fingers….traces of her on every part of me……and in my head thinking…”what the hell am I doing?” …and as I started to write this…my attempt at catharsis, i guess….I am thinking about all of you….all of you in your snug lives...who’ll read this..and am thinking that she might be just a 350cc bullet to all of you….but she’ll always be a woman to me….