Is your dream good for you?

If you, like me,  have spent much time in the late eighties  and nineties's brought up on a steady diet of stories like Roger Bannister or phrases like 'burning the midnight oil' , you probably have this Victorian affliction of believing that incredible success comes with incredible hard work. 

Malcolm Gladwell weighed in and estimated this effort to be about 10,000 hours of rigorous work and a couple of Texas sized oil wells.  But here is the thing - how do I know if I want to put in those 10000 hours? How do I know if I do, I will be successful and happy? (See what I did there? managed to sneak that happiness bit in? I am clever like that but more about that later.) 

Let's back up a little bit. Let's think about the time when we were sixteen (if you are sixteen and are reading this, you are incredibly lucky - I wish I had the internet around when I was 16) and had a Dream - to be a dashing fighter pilot with a Clark Gable moustache.  Or an sultry actress wrapped in intrigue and mystery. Or an artist. well..you know.. The Dream.

Most of us are romantic about our dreams - we have the dream that we do because something about the dream appeals to our soul in a deep, stirring way. 

For some its a clever turn of language and the imagination that's the style and world of a Terry Pratchett, the speed and instincts of a MIG fighter pilot reacting in split seconds, the rush of flying a machine that's faster than sound and sleeker than light. For some, its the sheer mystique of a Madhubala or the ability to make millions believe or lust. Warren Buffett as a benevolent and genius investor is the substance of (some) dreams. Roger Federer makes me fall in love with him a little every time I see him describe delicate arcs to carve out winners of breathtaking finesse. 

I think that romance is incredibly important - its what wakes you up and puts you to sleep - sometimes its just pride in yourself and your ability to 'do' and 'be', sometimes its a faraway dream, but there's romance in that dream. That romance is fuel. it is energy. 

There's a way of getting to that dream - and for the luckier ones, we actually find the way - what do you actually do for every minute of those 10,000 hours to get you to that dream - the 'process' of getting to that dream. For anyone wanting to be like Roger Federer, its countless hours of training, hitting a shot thousands of times a day to get that effortless arc right, thinking about small things like racquet weight and grip, wrist position and sugar levels - you know, the process? For Pratchett fans, its possibly less about being clever with word play than about being very meticulous with the piecing together of many little sub-plots, taking great care that they add to create a delightful little story, thinking and being emotional about real issues about humanity and weaving them in a way that delights but provokes as well - and then maybe the sharp phrasing - the style- kicks in. 

I wish I knew more about these and other dreams to talk about the process of these dreams - but what I really want to ask is - are we in love with the process?

I have seen many many people be incredibly successful - quite a few in that grim, stone-faced, chin up martyr kind of manner - but people I have seen successful and happy - those have been the ones who love the process - loved it and lived it with verve and energy - fought it, engaged with it , maybe even changed it. 

That six pack - probably has a better chance of happening if you love 'being' fit and enjoy testing the limits of your body - that business brainwave - probably will remain that unless you love and enjoy the journey of putting together a team and the processes of delivering that value to your customer. That stand-up comedian in you - to let her out, you have got to be in love with life's eccentricities a little and enjoy framing that , you know? 

And I think that's the real test of your dream - a dream that goes beyond the infatuation of imagery and glitter - and lets you find love in the process. 

And sometimes, just ever so often, a love so true that the dream doesn't even matter. 

If Women were Alcohol....

It just hit me.  Alcohol are people. Different kinds of people to different people. To my mind, I think they are like women. Or kinds of women to be exact. (Btw, if you are the type to take offence , especially on behalf of other tribes, you should stop reading this now!). So here is how it all goes down for me.



Scotch, to my mind, is a discreet mistress. Preferred by men in positions of power who know she'll keep their secrets and their dignity intact. A woman you spend a gentle evening with in mellow companionship, thinking out loud and who keeps up with every undulating thought, probing gently , un-layering gradually. She's a little cold though and is vicious if abused.



Bourbon -she goes where the money she looks good on your arm....tastes good....easy with any man if the price is right... She can be a party girl or the girl you show off to your friends. She's at home in any ambience...any mixer...she's pricey but easy.

Beer..is your classic  girl next door....as good for afternoon chats as for wild bingeing....she's yours whenever you reach out...willing..giving..undemanding....you don't own her...she's no one's and everyone's sweetheart.










Dark rum..is the stranger you find yourself waking up next to, with not the foggiest clue how you met or what happened after. She seems easy but so you never really get to know her beneath her easy friendliness. She doesn't infuse you with warmth. She's there when no one else is. She's the mistake you never want to make again but probably will.



Vodka...is that strange acquaintance...friend of friend's ...you run into her in strange places .. sometimes you talk to her to look good ....sometimes to feel good....its never really totally comfortable.
but you can really luck out with her but strike out as often. Just that wild card girl who you can have incredible chemistry with on some days but on other times, you can never really get going.

Cocktail drinks are foreigners.... with that touch of exotique. ..some are funny and sexy... some just tasty and dark...you have no idea where they come from....no idea where they go...they leave you feeling a little exotic and touched by fantasy but never at home.






Who's your drink tonight?