Sunday, November 19, 2006

The Namboodiri Principle

This gem from the effervescent, brilliant Oog - his invention, his glory, my site until he comes up with his own. The Namboodiri principle, evolved in the form of this refined tale, hides a stunning truth - a truth which could, to begin with, help the cause of world peace in no small measure by getting a lot of people laid.


On a sunny humid evening in eastern Kerala, Namboodiri and his friend were walking around a village quite peacably, talking about matters that two young men would on a sunny humid evening in eastern Kerala, when they saw a mahout with a majestic-looking elephant. Looking at the magnificent beast with its lolling walk, Namboodiri felt a sudden desire to own the elephant.
After a brief conference with his friend (who doesn't really have a substantial role in this tale) who owned most of the vigorous head-shaking content in that private dialogue, Namboodiri went to the mahout -


"Good sir, Would you consider giving your glorious elephant to me?"


"No."


Namboodiri walked away content.


Truly....a glorious tale.

minds of married people..

Saturday afternoon at Pecos. In the middle of a rather vigorous session of beer and various animals cooked in a variety of ways but mainly beer, S leaned forward and queried earnestly "Isn't it strange how married couples tend to hang out with married couples? Isn't it even stranger that even newly married couples are more at ease with married couples?"
Oog burped "yes ra! she's got it! ...for the past four minutes, I've been wondering how it is that I like my wife so much and why it is that i hate being married to her! and yes..this here is it! It is because married couples have to hang out with only married couples! why does it have to be like that?" (oog would have been happier meeting hola-hola dancers from taikwiki, preferably in the nude but that doesn't take away from the question, does it?)

About twenty minutes later, I knew why.

I'd love to say this was due to concentrated thought and gazillion calculations of multiple scenarios i ran in my head at the speed of gossip, but no. A rather smashed but severely tickled Nari started howling in my ear. Howling is what Nari normally does and that, in itself, was insufficient to draw the interest of my own rather pickled senses. No..it was that he howled 0.026 mm from my ear was what probably did it. But moving on, he proceeded to relate a telephonic conversation he'd just had with Soda (who at that moment in time was a picture of content respectability, walking as he was hand in hand with his wife of four years on a romantic evening in Bandstand).

"Maccha...Soda's gonna be a DAD!!" I choked - I'd met soda four days ago, and I'd be damned if a drunken and unmarried Nari managed to worm this intimate info out of himin a 3 minute conversation! "how do you know?" I barked at him having trouble seeing his face which was fading in and out. Probably cos I was waving my fist at it.

Apparently this is the conversation that happened between Nari and Soda.

"Sodaaaaaaa....&!@&@%.....@%$@%$@%$........&@%@$$...^&@!#@@....how are you, ra?

"Umm..hey..taking a walk n bandstand with my wife. Wha-"

"%$@##!!! we spent 7 years in college passing our 4 year course!! Good times, eh ?"

"umm..sure..yeah man.."

2.5 min conversation. Nari definitely with larger share of voice.

Nari: " Okay ra soda %$##, you take care, %$%$...and yeah! HAVE SAFE SEX TONIGHT!" (giggle giggle)

Soda: "um."

Nari: "OR MAYBE NOT! JUST HAVE SEX" (howling howling)

Soda hangs up.

Nari says"Maccha...Soda's gonna be a DAD".