SD

“China Jaayega?”

the two words that started my love affair with SD -  a raucous, good-looking Bengaali  - and one of the most insightful men I ever met. These words are mostly unremarkable in today’s world of globe trotting companies and individuals, but miraculous said as they were, to a callow 22 year old lab scientist over the day's second goldflake and cup of tea in an dusty industrial suburb of Bangalore in early 1999…. The proposition representing a small company’s international ambition with a budget in the 100s of dollars rather than the buffered millions we speak of today….

Whether it was raw potential or budget constraints .. we never ended up discussing… SD always made me believe it was the former. He introduced me as a prized talent in meetings with our competitors and partners… companies ten times bigger than we were, sent me on hundreds of days on travel costing scarce dollars in the bylanes of Asia ...dollars that needed him to justify every penny of that expense (in a company that would have preferred its employees work for free). Always with a smile and boundless faith ….. with results and jobs uncertain….I heard later that he went to the dispatch dock and choked up when he saw a 16 MT container being loaded with my first sale to a customer in Guangzhou…. the fact it meant so much to him...that we were managing to survive.. told me that his faith could not have come without some fear. 

SD encourages dissent - especially passionate dissent. He looks at you with an animated expression when you speak...its the passion that's making him curious... in moments like this it seems he is wanting to understand your very soul.... he's reading a thousand things about you... testing different theories about you in his head.... fitting them in with people he's met before... he's tireless in his curiosity... and expressive in his amazement and surprise at your thinking. It makes you reach deeper ...think harder and express more....stringing little thoughts together....into a bigger and bigger thought.... incredibly indian in its to and froing..with its animated 'absolutely's' and "of totally'' ....its an energy filled frenzy even about arcane concepts like business and "dhanda" .... ending in an expression filled orgasm of insight and conclusion. 

SD learned his life lessons I think as a teenager…. Selling movie tickets in black to buy booze and smokes….well down a path no self respecting middle class Indian boy ought to go….. but ended up developing a rare love of humanity in all its forms. I do mean all its forms. This father of two lovely boys and husband to an incredibly beautiful wife he kidnapped when he was 23, shares his joie raucously. He throws his heart, home and family open to all….. His wife V plied us with home cooked food and intensely intellectual conversation… both of them dissecting your quaint personality with insight and finesse and laughter…. open with their attitude…. All the while deprecating of any praise coming their way…secure in their world and knowledge of themselves.  Even today as I write this, I feel almost treacherous… talking about a relationship that we have referred to in joyous mostly unsentimental terms.

I didn’t hear a word of criticism in the four magical years I spent with SD…. Not even when he made write a business email to a customer for an entire day, dissecting every word.... nudging me from self involved flowery to the useful…gently… ever so gently. I have seen SD transform people like this …. people drained of verve by a harsh life …from cynical jaded view to one of enthusiasm and possibility. 

I have no idea what lies behind this…he still remains one of the most enigmatic people I’ll ever know…. Whether it was his unconventional teenage years in  Shillong….or ten years in Mumbai of the 80's in what I am sure must have been a culture shock for 19 year old from the east…but this I do know – He does it with love of people…one from incredible faith and amazement at what they can do… its clear eyed and objective yet unconditional… I think its that faith from people like SD which makes people assess themselves objectively…harshly even…creating a hunger that pushes you to do better for yourself. SD and V make me question a thousand times in the ten years since..  … how much can you love humanity? with all its quirks and failings .... can you truly love it? 

If you want to change lives, start... start with one.